Gentle Parenting
I'm sure you've heard the term "gentle parenting." I feel like a lot of people have given it a bad rep over the years. What is it actually and how can you incorporate it into your parenting style?
What Is It?
Traditional parenting focuses largely on punishment and reward. Gentle parenting uses empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries. I like to think of it as treating your child like a full human being with emotions that deserve to be acknowledged. It doesn't mean you're "babying" them. It doesn't mean your parenting is less effective. When I decided I wasn't going to use my heightened emotions as a way to discipline my child I really noticed a huge change in my son's behavior.
How to Use It
I try to remember that I can't be a good example of how to express my emotions in an effective way if I only punish my child when I'm feeling angry. I try to stay calm. I don't raise my voice. I use empathy to be mindful of how my child is feeling. I try to be understanding. Remember that your child is a child and their world is so different than that of adults. Their emotional maturity is still developing. It's based on mutual respect. We need to model respect for our children if we want them to respect others as an adult.
How I've Used It
I remember at Trent's 6th birthday party he was throwing rocks outside and threw a rock through my window. Instead of reacting I asked him to go wait in his room so I could calm down and talk with him about why what he did was unsafe. I've noticed he reacts better to talking through things rather than being yelled at.
When he was learning to tie his shoes I would get extremely frustrated. He just wasn't getting it. Instead of getting angry I suggested we do it together.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a human being and have lost my temper a time or two and have yelled at him. I always make sure to apologize. Teaching your children to be responsible over their actions is so important.
You can obviously parent however you want to. I have just found that being gentle and understanding with your children creates a safe space for them and allows them to be honest when they make mistakes.
Hope this helps
<3 Bri